After a night of restless sleep and a morning of incessently checking my phone for a snow cancellation or delay, preparations for day one back at work began with 5:42am blazing on the alarm clock. The mayhem was expected but with Kakes help I was able to get out the door only 30 minutes late without battling spit up or unplanned wardrobe changes (however you know youre succeeding at breastfeeding when your shirts no longer fit across your chest). I was expecting no less than chaos so all things considered the morning went pretty well.
The work day flew by, what with hundreds of emails to go through, countless coworkers stopping by to share my discontent with being at work on a snowy Monday, and seemingly constant trips to the windowless seclusion of the defacto lactation room. By the end of the day I had scoured my email inbox and my desk, making a fresh start for this new life after childbirth.
In the end I felt bad for NOT being a soggy weepy mess my first day away from my baby. I'm sure cabin fever from a weekend stuck inside helped to increase my excitement at leaving the house and the knowledge that Maren was next door with Kristina and baby Adam also made the thought of her being without mom or dad just a little more bearable. And who knows, maybe it's just the novelty of getting to eat lunch with two hands and pee without a soundtrack of fitfully crying baby that lulls me into the false sense that this working mom thing might just suit me......until one day a couple weeks from now I'll break down crying during a staff meeting because the talk of taking baby steps to raise funds for transportation infrastructure makes me think of my little girl reaching that milestone with someone else standing by.
Regardless of how thin my threads of sanity may be a few weeks from now, I just have to remember the wise lyrics of Bob Marley "baby don't worry about a thing, cause every little things gonna be alright".
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